just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
3pm strippers are depressing
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
