oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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