Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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