Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
