Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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