I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize