Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
