I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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