i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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