maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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