Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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