Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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