Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize