So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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