yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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