This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
