A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
soo... how was my night?
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