I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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