I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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