The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
