the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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