hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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