i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just had sex on a roof
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
