i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
