My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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