You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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