I think I died a long time ago.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
