Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
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