We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
