Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I have tasted many bathrooms
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
