no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
