Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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