got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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