Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
