Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
