I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
