You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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