So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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