I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
