I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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