so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
