Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
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I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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