God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
