So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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