I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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