Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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