wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
