i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
