Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
