Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
