Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
