I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
