I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
