i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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