Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Randomize
