you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
