remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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