it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize