and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Found the puke drawer
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
