the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
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Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
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As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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