I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We have so much sex to catch up on
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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