Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
