Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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