OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
